For over ten years I’ve been wanting to complete a yoga teacher training and step deeper into my passion of guiding people into their higher selves. Yet it had always been something that I would do later, when I had more money. Once the money came, I would do it when I had more time. When I had more time, then I would do it when it was a little closer to home. On and on this went. And every time I sat on my mat in a class, my inner soul sister told me I needed to be teaching.
Fast forward to the spring of this year. I got the insight on the where, the when, the who. I began saying yes with every cell. My entire being lit from within. And then a giant windfall came in just in time to make the payment. It all lined up. Yet as soon as I paid for the training which was to begin three months later, I began to doubt it.
As I ordered my books for required reading, the Sutras, anatomy, the Bhagavad Gita, my inner critic smugly shook her head and snickered in the background. The very first day of my training I considered not going: “maybe I should cancel the entire thing, get my money back, I’m too old to start teaching yoga, I suck at handstands, this is never going to be worth my time & energy.” Wow, really? For someone who so willingly followed the light of Reiki wherever it led me, I was incredibly resistant to the second most important career goal of my life. It had nothing to do with time, location or money. It had everything to do with me getting out of my own way.
“Release what no longer serves you…Take charge of your life. Do what is right for you. Listen to your soul. Your soul holds your soul agreements. That is what you have come to do and with whom. What are you attracting?" Full Moon in Taurus, Astrologer, Kelley Rosano
When our inner spirit nudges us to the precipice we have two choices: turn away or leap. We often turn away from the edge, from what thrills us, what lights us from within because we’re terrified of failure. There is no such thing as failing if we are tuned in.
What are you attracting? If you have fear within your body then all the energy in your cells feels it and begin to constrict. Constricting prevents anything new from entering. But if we breathe through the fear and stay tuned in to our spirit and what it’s nudging us to do, then we are organically open and receptive. While we may not necessarily achieve the success our ego desires, if we remain open and curious then we can more easily trust and follow the guideposts aligned with our path. On that path we encounter delights, adventures and magical people we perhaps never dreamed possible!
There is less than one month to go in my training. When I began my mind said, “Okay, no we’re here, what’s the plan when we’re done? How much money can we make doing this? Where will you teach?” This quieted after my first weekend. Along the way I have opened more than I ever have. I’ve deepened my physical and spiritual practice and more importantly, I’ve connected with an amazing tribe (and I use this word intentionally) of individuals deeply invested in each other’s wellbeing and achievement. When I woke at 4am to begin training in the first weekend, I thought, “Ugh, three months of this...” And now I’m misty-eyed as we countdown to our final weeks.